A father and his preschool-aged son smile happy. The boy is cuddling a soft toy

“Everyone wins. In addition to the child ‘: Why do I think adults should stop telling my shy son – ABC Everyday

I want people to stop calling my son shy. To be fair, I must also stop calling him shy.

It’s such an easy word that comes out of your mouth.

My almost three-year-old son Remy and I had lunch at a coffee shop one day. It was a weekday and we were early, so we were the only customers there.

As we entered, the waitress greeted Remy, trying to get an answer. Remy said nothing in return, just smiled. He grabbed my leg.

“He’s so shy,” the waitress offered. I said “Yeah” or some other vague, non-binding answer and led Remy to our table.

As we waited for food, a waitress came up to her and pulled up a chair to get Remy to talk to her again.

She was intense: she made faces. Children’s voices. He even tried to tickle him. Remy, who was not safe in my leg, flinched into a chair.

The waitress said again, “He’s so shy.” I just smiled politely.

‘I wish people would change their minds twice’

It’s not an isolated incident, but it bothers me that day for several reasons.

I know she didn’t mean anything wrong, but I really wish people would change their minds twice before they tried to get a child to deal with them.

And Remy started calling himself shy whenever it took him a while to warm up with someone new. And when he does, there’s always the look on his face that makes him feel like he let me down.

I don’t know if the cafe incident was the trigger for Remy to mention it like that, or if it’s just the culmination of months I’ve heard the word; not only by strangers but also by their own parents.

But most of the time, I’m mad at myself for letting the waitress get so close to Remy and make him back away in that way. And I’m mad at myself for not stepping in and asking her to back off.

I think I was used to Remy being a kid we can tell anything without consequences. Now that he is older, I am still adapting to being aware of the world around me and finding my place in it. Now he is someone who really understands what is being said about him.

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